he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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