1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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