8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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