I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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