girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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