We're facebook friends in real life
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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