Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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