I think I won the penis lottery.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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