So drunk its hurt
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
