Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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