...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
