I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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