Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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