His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
