Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
