I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
