Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
