I will die if light touches me.
are you so shy because you have an std?
time to smoke my breakfast
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
