I can't watch pbs sober anymore
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
