she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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