i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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