i'm signing you up for texting rehab
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
