Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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