so explain again why im purple
no
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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