She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
