I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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