You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
