Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
