Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
