you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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