5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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