That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
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Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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