How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
