You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
