He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
