She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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