That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
