i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
