Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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