can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
