and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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