Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He shit in the fireplace
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