I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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