I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
