Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
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