Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
and she was petting her beer can
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
