I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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