Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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