he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
