pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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