Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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