It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
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