girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
