My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
