North Korea, Best Korea!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm like, not good at living.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
