u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize