sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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