mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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