ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
