thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
