I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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