Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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