think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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