Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize